Dear X.

Dear X,

I’ve been trying to hold on to you for so long, but I realized I was holding on to a ghost, because the You that I miss is not really you anymore. You’ve changed, you’re a totally different person, and it’s foolish of me to think that you’ll ever be who you used to be, and selfish of me to ask you to do that. It hurts too much to be like this, pretending that everything’s okay, when it’s not. I can’t do this anymore, to myself and to you. I can’t keep lying anymore..

I’m letting go, and I hope it’s for real this time. I know I’m hurting you, but trust me, no one’s as hurt as I am right now. I know it’s gonna be bad now, but it’s better this way, for both of us.

I’m going to miss everything about you, your morning texts, your random calls during the day, our long conversations in the night, our silly fights, the hugs, our weird picture taking [haha], I’m gonna miss your long lectures, and all those times when you held me while I cried telling me that it’s all going to be alright. You were always right.

And now it’s your turn to listen to me when I tell you that it’s all going to be alright for us, it’ll all get better, and we’ll both be happy in the end. I promise you.

Know that I love you, and I always will.

Goodbye.

I found this letter while going through old diaries last night, and I thought I’d share it.

xoxo

Sillyme.


Dear Heart.

Dear  ♥,

I’m sorry I wasn’t careful, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry I let thing things get out of control, I’m sorry I let someone hurt you. I didn’t mean for it to happen, he just came into my life  and won me over. He was the most magical thing ever. He showed me things I never thought I could feel. He showed me love, he showed me happiness, he showed me care. I loved him, and so did you, he made both of us feel good. We both needed him, he was our drug, our Ecstasy.  We didn’t know how, but we got too attached to him. He was all that mattered to me, and I made him all that mattered to you too. Sometimes I chose him over you, and I’m sorry for that. I should have known to trust you more. I should’ve known. I knew what was coming, but i chose to ignore it, I thought things would get better, but they didn’t. I made the mistake of choosing him over you, he didn’t do the same, he chose someone else. I’m so sorry I did that to you. I’m sorry I let him break you, I’m sorry, I really am. He meant the World to me, but I guess he loved her more. I always knew, but I ignored it all along and I let this happen to us, to you. If I were to reverse my life, I promise I’d make the right choice. But I can’t. All I can promise is that in the future I won’t make the same mistake and I will never hurt you.

Your one and only,

Sillyme.